TripletfangirlsSweeneyLovettUH OH
by Eponine Everdeen42
Summary: When fangirl triplets somehow wake up in Sweeney Todd's house, they naturally want to know why. Well, even more naturally, they want to glomp the said demon barber. But that's understandable, right? There's only one thing to say about this; be afraid. Be very afraid.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: Descriptions of Our Protagonists!

Lissie Goldman was definitely, _definitely not_ a fangirl.

Screw it.

Yeah, she was.

Even worse, she was a fangirl... WITH SISTERS!

Who were fangirls too.

Despite their fangirlness, Lissie and her two sisters, Amber and Lizzie, were very sweet and pretty girls. Three very nice _triplets_.

Lissie was a punctual young woman of fourteen, who never, ever, ever stayed in a closed-in space. Ever. No one knew what to make of this. Often one could see Lissie tromping around in the woods that made up her backyard, calling out something like, "Slender! Come and get me Slendy!" or calling out quotes from Sweeney Todd.

She watched the world with a pair of large, serious green eyes that sparkled ever the least bit so slightly. Her hair was short, to her ears, and curly. When the sun caught it, one would swear it was red, but any other time it was pronounced auburn. Her skin was also rather pale (it would not tan, no matter how much time she spent outside), and complimented the reddish curls perfectly. Lissie could also be found sketching drawings of Anthony Hope from Sweeney Todd, much to the disappointment of Amber, who will be described right now.

Amber Goldman was the quiet, stay-inside one. She was very small for her age, only four-foot-eight, and had a very petite frame. She was always inside, reading and writing poetry, except her poetry was about pies and ovens and Johanna and revenge and death. She was quite true to the "nerd" stereotype; her round brown eyes were bespectacled with black and pink rectangular bifocals, her olive skin wasn't as exposed to sunlight as Lissie's was, and her main clothing choices were peasant blouses and skirts that went wonderfully with her braided black hair. She was deathly afraid of dolls. Dolls were evil. Dolls were scary. Dolls should never be used as a form of entertainment. They should be burned at the stake.

Lizzie Goldman was the one who got them into this mess in the first place.

**(A/N: Sorry, Lizzie will be described in the next chapter. :D Thankya! The sisters are based on three of my bestest friends in the whole wide world. None of them are afraid of dolls. I am, though. Creepy little annoying demons. :D)**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Dear Reader, Be Warned

So sorry about that abrupt ending in the last chapter. The author was having some difficulties, namely being chased through a swamp by a ferocious swarm of pink sparkly sharp-toothed bunny rabbits. But no matter. This is the Goldman story.

The three girls were huddled in Amber's room, listening to the storm. It was a terrific storm, kicking up a huge fuss. It was the kind of storm that seemed to be saying, "You guys are too secure. I'm going to rattle you up a bit."

"I love the rain, but this is just scary," remarked Lissie quietly, running her fingers through her short hair.

"_The rain will wash away what's past," _Lizzie sang.

"_Lizzie Goldman! You're a bloody wonder- eminently practical and appropriate as always!" _Amber replied.

Lizzie never really was as obsessed with Sweeney Todd as her sisters. She was more of a Les Mis kind of girl. She discovered it when her mother told her she looked exactly like Cosette from Les Misèrables, causing her to Google search the character and discovering that wonderful masterpiece made up of five large volumes.

Lizzie had always identified with Cosette the most ever since that fateful remark, causing gigantic disputes with both sisters, as the other two preferred Èponine to Cosette, when they took the time to think about Les Misèrables, which was when they took the time to think about anything other than Sweeney Todd. Another reason for arguments was whether Cosette was blonde or brunette. Lizzie argued that Cosette was a brunette; it said so in the book. Lissie and Amber replied that Cosette must be blonde, because every single Broadway portrayer had been blonde.

Lizzie was the prettiest triplet. She had large, defiant sea-green eyes and shiny, waist length dark curls. Her skin was olive coloured, slightly sun kissed and tanned. The thing she loved about herself most was the fact that she was a soprano. She was immensely proud of it, flaunting her voice whenever she could.

"I hope nothing bad happens," Lizzie murmured.

"We made it this far," said Lissie glumly. She was disappointed that the storm had ruined her plans to climb the tallest tree in the backyard woods. "We might as well wait a little longer."

"It was a dark and stormy night," Amber called out, attempting to lighten the mood.

"Some triplets were in their rooms, praying that the storm would not last."

"Suddenly..." A loud thunderclap interrupted Lizzie. "There was a knock at the door!"

The girls screamed as they heard a loud rap at the front door.

Now, you are probably thinking this is very cliché, and that the author ought to be ashamed of herself for writing such a terribly cliché story. Well, let me tell you, this is _not _some random cliché novel. You will be discovering this in another chapter, most likely the next one.

Another knock followed the first. Someone cried out, "Let me in! I'm drenched!"

Lissie grinned. So did the others. They knew who was outside.

Amber threw open the front door and ushered a wet, bundled up person inside.

"Oh, Kayla, what happened?" Lizzie asked, patting the figure known as "Kayla".

"Well, I was riding my bike up the hill, and suddenly this huge storm rushed in on me. I had practically nowhere to go, so I rode my bike fast as I could to your place," Kayla explained shyly, shrugging off a lilac sweater and bundling a matching hat into it. She yanked off her black boots and sighed. "So sorry."

"Oh no, please make yourself at home!" Amber told Kayla, gesturing toward the couch.

"Thanks. I called my mom while I was riding my bike; she'll pick me up soon." Kayla said softly.

Kayla Willis was a very shy, quiet girl of thirteen who was best friends with all three sisters. She possessed a red bob and a talent for cooking. Her dad was almost never home, and her mom worked as a nurse, so most nights she had to make her own dinner. She didn't mind so much, mostly because she enjoyed cooking almost as much as she enjoyed Sweeney Todd. Which meant she enjoyed it a lot.

"Well, come on in! Our parents are asleep." Lissie rolled her eyes.

"Let's trash the house!" Lizzie laughed.

Kayla smiled. "Thanks for letting me in on such short notice. You guys are awesome."

"Hey, your mom would sue if we left you out in the pouring rain," Lissie pointed out.

Kayla giggled. She lowered herself onto the couch. "So what's new with you?"

"Oh, nothing much, you?"

"I'm fine, just got back from summer camp a few days ago."

"Everybody loves summer camp!" chorused the girls. This was an inside joke of theirs. One day at a camp a girl had smuggled an iPod into her cabin and spent the night watching _Everybody Hates Chris._

"Yeah," Kayla continued. "It was really- hey, what's up with this couch?"

"What do you mean, what's up with the couch? We got it reupholstered a month ago," Amber exclaimed. "Here, scooch, I'm sitting." She plopped herself onto the couch. "Hey, it feels hollow. _And it's glowing!" _She thumped the cushion a few times. "Come on, you have to see this!"

Lizzie and Lissie approached cautiously. Amber lifted away the cushion and exposed a blue swirling vortex.

_No, this is not a cliché horror story! Stop asking me that!_

"Ehmagod!" screamed Kayla.

"Ehmagod times three!" screeched Lissie.

"_**EHMAGOD TIMES TEN!" **_bellowed Lizzie.

"Amber, don't go in there!" Lissie warned.

"Too late,' Amber grinned. She climbed onto the couch. "_Hasta la vista, sistas!" _

"Amber!"

"Dang it, do we really have to save her?!"

"She makes fun of my Anthony drawings..."

In the end, the friends decided they would have to rescue Amber because it was the right thing to do.

And the following is indescribable. There is only one sentence that I am able to tell you:

Dear reader, be warned.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: EHMAGAWD IT'S SWEEEEEENERS!

"Ouch, my head..."

"Did you just step on my foot?!"

"Well ex-kuhUUUUSE me, princess!"

"Hey, this looks suspiciously suspicious..."

Four disgruntled teens sat up, moaning about their feet, their heads, and how suspiciously suspicious this place looked.

_**I FRIGGIN' SWEAR IF YOU SAY THAT SENTENCE ONE MORE FRIGGIN' TIME I WILL BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY AND USE EACH ONE SEPARATLY AS TOOTHPICKS!**_

Excuse me.

Each girl struggled to her feet and stared around.

"Ew, look at my clothes!" shrieked Lissie, glaring at the-erm- _rather low cut _Victorian dress she was wearing.

"Gross, we look like [This word has been censored to save the whales]!" Amber agreed, yanking the neckline up her chest.

"Careful, you'll stretch it out," Kayla warned, "and then you'll look like a perfect example of public indecency."

Only Lizzie seemed to see the situation in a positive light. She was dancing around, squealing, "I look just like Cosette!"

"Unless Cosette was a─"

_**Ahem, **_the Authoress growled, not willing to surrender her story for the dreaded T rating.

"—_Lovely lady _like her mother, I don't think so," sneered Lissie. She then sat down right on the dirty stone pavement and contemplated this terrible thing that had happened. When she did this, everyone knew she was in a really bad mood and kept their distance.

"Hey, Lissie?" Kayla asked.

"Not now."

"Liss." Now Amber was poking her.

"Shut up, will you."

"Lissie!" screamed Lizzie, shaking her hard.

"What!" snapped Lissie, bolting upright and glowering at Lizzie. "What is it?!"

Lizzie's face had turned into a beacon of fangirlish joy. She was pointing a shaky finger down the road. Lissie turned and saw the most heavenly man anyone could ever lay eyes on.

"EHMAGAWD IT'S SWEEEEEEENERRRRRS!" she cried, rushing toward the man, now known as "Sweeney Todd."

Sweeney Todd had been having a very nice day, save for the fact that they had been out of gin for the past _week_. He had killed four customers, two of them already sold and eaten. And he was just about to walk into that blasted Mrs Lovett's shop and demand _why _they had been out of gin for the past _week, _when suddenly a screaming young girl tackled him, and he fell to the ground, shocked.

"Sweeney! Ehmagod, I knew this place looked familiar!" his attacker exclaimed, shaking his shoulders with a dreamy expression on her face.

She was straddling him, and was rather strong too. It took a great deal of difficulty to throw her off of him, unsheathe his razor, and threaten her with death.

She simply stood there, apparently unarmed, smiling at him. He took this as a chance to observe her.

She was a bit tall, willowy, with oddly short auburn hair and large green eyes. Her dress was ordinary, at least. It was deep green, trimmed with black lace. She had a charming smile, he decided, and a pretty heart shaped face.

**(A/N: There will be absoloutely no Lissie/Todd. Or Lizzie/Todd. Or Amber/Todd. Or Kayla/Todd, Glob forbid. Everything will be canon. I know, I'm mad too, but this is how it will work. It's better this way.)**

"Oh, Mr Todd!" she cried, staring him in the eye. "I-I've heard so much about you!"

"You...have?" he asked blankly. He was too surprised to be hostile right now, and lowered his razor without realizing it.

"Yes! From the movie..."

"What's a movie?"

The girl seemed to realize her mistake. "I mean, from my father. My father, yes. He says you're a _wonderful _barber, and he wished me to run to your place to congratulate you on his smooth shave," she corrected in a hurry. "Hey, guys! Come over here!"

Three other girls rushed over. "Oh...hi...Sweeney..." the first one murmured, the one with glasses.

"Do you do haircuts?" asked the one with long dark hair, wiggling her eyebrows knowingly. Sweeney didn't know how to respond to this.

"Can you sign this?" begged the last girl, with bright red hair cut short, pulling a piece of blank paper out of her pocket.

The all four huddled together tightly. Sweeney heard whispers. The girls kept glancing back at him, giggling.

Sweeney still didn't know how to respond.

"Okay, okay," whispered Lizzie. "How 'bout one of us pretends to faint and we ask for help?"

"Brilliant!" Kayla agreed. "Who?"

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but Lissie is the best actress," Amber muttered. "She's gotten good while practicing for the Beggar Woman. She can lay still and limp for over and hour."

Lissie beamed. "Thank you!" They broke up the circle and smiled charmingly at Sweeney.

Lissie suddenly started grasping at her chest, making her breathing shallow, and finally buckled her knees and dropped down, limp.

Sweeney just stared at her.

Meanwhile, everyone started freaking out. "My sister!" wailed Lizzie.

"We have to help her!" added Kayla.

"Mr T, could you let us into your shop and allow us to revive her?" pleaded Amber, pulling her best puppy eyes.

"I-I-I suppose..."

"Great!" And all three picked up Lissie and dashed into the Meat Pie Emporium.


End file.
